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Invisible pregnancy: “I hide the fact that I use a surrogate mother to give birth to a child”

Invisible pregnancy: “I hide the fact that I use a surrogate mother to give birth to a child”
Oct 08, 2019

A woman is expecting a baby, but without a rounded belly. It sounds strange only in the first few seconds. After that comes the understanding that another woman can carry a child for this woman. But to understand at the level of ideas and at the level of approval of this decision (especially when it relates to the close person) are things of a different order. The women who turned to the services of surrogate mother prefer to hide their decision from others. We will talk about the reasons and ways to keep the secret in this article.

Unwillingness to convey to others the fact of turning to services of surrogate mother has several reasons:

  • Negative attitude of society;
  • Fear of condemnation by close people;
  • A blow to self-respect (unwillingness to be an object of pity) and others.

Despite the availability of information in the public domain, many people still believe that the surrogate mother gives her child for material reward. There is a widespread disregard attitude in the spirit that “a pampered worthless woman who avoids motherhood” “exchanged a child for a figure,” the condemnation based on religious dogmas.

The close people may be not less categorical and hostile. There have been cases when, ignoring all reasonable and reliable arguments, the parents of the married couple stated that they would not accept a child “from whom it is unknown”.

And it is absolutely unbearable to catch the glances full of sympathy. “Having no children is the greatest grief for the family”, “did not fulfill the women's mission” and other verdicts hanging in the air (and sometimes voiced).

It is expected that such attitudes force women to hide their use of the surrogate mother services in every possible way. And this makes us look for ways out.

How to hide from others the use of surrogate mother services

You cannot one day appear in your house with a child and not cause questions from others. Therefore, the only real way to get rid of the questions is an imitation of pregnancy and minimizing the discussion of internal issues of your family. In the “minimum” variant, this measure is applied to work colleagues, neighbors and others, in the “maximum” variant - to the future grandparents.

To distance yourself from your colleagues and neighbors, it is enough to have free clothes. There is hardly anyone person, enough tactless to pester you with detailed inquiries. In the case of the your inner circle, everything will be more complicated.

You will need to buy a false belly (changing sizes as the “gestational age” increases), to answer questions about ultrasound images and other attributes of expectation of the baby that you have become incredibly superstitious and are not ready to discuss any issues related to the future parenthood before discharge from the maternity hospital.

On the eve of the “birth”, you shall plan a leave and announce your intention to give birth to a baby in another country. It is not at all necessary to name the country from where you actually bring the child. Informing the time of arrival, forsee a few days for adaptation of you and the newborn.

Feskov Human Reproduction Group is sympathetic to the emotional experiences that future parents have to endure on the way to the simple desire to be a family. We guarantee the complete confidentiality for our customers and, if necessary, will implement a remote interaction program: we have a tried and tested system for delivering biomaterials from any country, our own database of surrogate mothers and technologies that guarantee the birth of a healthy baby. You will need to come to us once - to bring home a son or daughter. The consultants on our website will be happy to tell you more about this program.

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