The Facts About Surrogacy: Debunking 6 Myths

1. Myth 1: Women become surrogate mothers only for the money
2. Myth 2: The surrogate mother has a genetic relationship with the child
3. Myth 3: Surrogate mothers can change their mind and keep the child to themselves
4. Myth 4: Any woman can become a surrogate mother
5. Myth 5: The intended parents control all aspects of the pregnancy
6. Myth 6: Intended parents do not bond with their child

There is a perception of the procedure as the prerogative of celebrities who hire VIP surrogate mothers to become parents without affecting their careers. Some are even sure that a surrogate mother carries and gives her own child to strangers. Meanwhile, the reality is much more prosaic and does not have all the horrors that ignorant people attribute to it. Let's get acquainted with the facts about surrogacy and debunk the main myths.

Myth 1: Women become surrogate mothers only for the money

This is not true, if only because in a number of countries surrogacy is only permitted on an altruistic basis. The facts about surrogate mothers are as follows: in countries with altruistic surrogacy, gestational carriers only receive compensation for expenses incurred during the reproductive program, despite the high prices of the programs themselves. Information about surrogacy as an easy way to earn money does not stand up to criticism: any woman who has been pregnant at least once can tell a lot about the difficulties she has experienced, the fears and the enormous responsibility that falls on women's shoulders during this period. All this certainly deserves compensation and fees.

Myth 2: The surrogate mother has a genetic relationship with the child

No, this is prohibited by law. Among the facts about surrogacy, the central requirement of the law is the absence of a genetic link between the gestational carrier and the child. The embryo is created using the genetic material of at least one of the intended parents: in case of low quality/absence of eggs, donor eggs are used, in case of low quality/absence of sperm, the services of an individual sperm donor are offered. If the intended mother has frozen her oocytes in her early reproductive age, they will most likely be involved in the reproductive program through the service of transporting cryo-frozen eggs from a cryobank.

Myth 3: Surrogate mothers can change their mind and keep the child to themselves

This is a rare case when a statement can be both a myth and a fact about surrogacy, depending on the legislation of the country where the reproductive program is being carried out. The legislation of a number of countries, for example, Belgium and Great Britain, recognizes the woman who gave birth to the child as the mother. To transfer parental rights, the biological parents and the gestational carrier go to court and go through the adoption procedure. In this situation, the surrogate mother can, if she wishes, try to keep the child for herself, having a fair chance of being supported by the court. There have been such precedents, and even a contract concluded prior to the start of the program did not play any role, being recognized as invalid.

The impossibility of keeping the child for oneself becomes a fact about surrogacy in countries whose legislation clearly recognizes the rights to the child for the intended parents. For example, in the USA and Ukraine, the legislation completely excludes the possibility for the gestational carrier to declare his rights to the newborn. In this case, the contract will serve as a 100% protection of the parental rights of the biological parents.

Myth 4: Any woman can become a surrogate mother

No, not any woman. A woman who wants to become a surrogate mother must meet the following criteria:

• being 21 to 42 years old;
• having at least one child of her own, pregnancy without complications;
• having physical and psychological suitability for participation in the program (based on the results of a full examination and consultations with a reproductive psychologist);
• having a healthy lifestyle, no bad habits;
• having no problems with the law.

On average, out of 10 applicants for the role of surrogate mother, 8 are rejected due to failure to meet some of the criteria.

Myth 5: The intended parents control all aspects of the pregnancy

No, facts about surrogacy present a completely different picture: the intended parents and the gestational carrier discuss their mutual ideas and expectations of the process, agree on ways of interaction, and in case of misunderstandings, resort to the help of a reproductive psychologist. The facts about surrogacy imply autonomy in relation to the body and health of the gestational carrier. The well-being of the pregnant woman and the child is the main priority of both doctors and intended parents. In order to protect the rights of the gestational carrier, the contract specifies compensation in the event of a miscarriage, a situation where it is necessary to terminate a pregnancy, and other situations related to the health of the woman carrying the pregnancy.

Myth 6: Intended parents do not bond with their child

When talking about surrogacy, its opponents often mention the disruption of the bond between mother and child. At the same time, they ignore the testimonies of many women who did not establish a bond with their own children at first sight, but only after a long time spent interacting with the newborn.

The bond between intended parents and the child begins to be established at the stage of planning the reproductive program: they dream about the child, they are eagerly awaiting it, and they are actively preparing to be parents. Selecting a surrogate mother, interacting with her throughout the program, being present at the birth - all this helps to establish a reliable and strong attachment to the baby.

The listed myths and facts about surrogacy are reliable information about surrogacy, collected by specialists from Feskov Human Reproduction Group to raise awareness and openness of people to technologies that bring the happiness of parenthood even to those who seemed to have lost hope.